August 7th, 2004

It's me

It Sucked To Be President John Tyler

*My first history rant, how cute*

President John Tyler (1841-1845) has to rank as one of America's suckiest presidents along side other such American dynamos as Grant and Harding. He was the first vice president ever to ascend to the highest office in the land because of the death of the sitting president elect, who happened to be beloved war hero, William Henry Harrison. Tyler assured his place in politics by riding the coat-tails of Harrison with the campaign slogan, "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too!" Once Tyler became the headcheese in Washington, he was dubbed, "His Accidency." That little endearing nickname showed how much faith politicians had in this man as president :-). With "Tyler Too," as President, his party, the Whigs were thrown into a tizzy. They even expelled him from the party (HA), because he didn't follow the party agenda at all. And like everybody's favorite presidential drunk, A. Jackson, Tyler used his veto powers so much that he could veto bills in his sleep. As a result of his stellar performance in office, his whole cabinet resigned in protest of his actions (hehe), expect for Daniel Webster (wtf was he thinking?). But Webster eventually left Tyler as well.
However, the little known "crowning achievement" of Tyler's administration has to be the untimely deaths of two of the highest ranking members of his second cabinet aboard the USS Princeton in 1844. As most of his cabinet admired the new weaponry of the ship, a cannon (aptly named "The Peacemaker"), exploded killing eight people, including his Secretary of State, Abel Upshur and the Secretary of the Navy, Thomas Gilmer. As his cabinet was thrown into panic by this tragedy, Tyler was below deck...erm let's just say boarding a vessel of his own that took form the of a teenage girl. The 54 year old Tyler had a penchant for the young ladies. After his administration literally blew-up in his face, his fate was sealed as one of American's worst Commanders-in-Chief.
  • Current Music
    Harry Connick Jr.---"It Had To Be You" over the intercom